BIRTHDAY THROUGH THE YEARS

 

BIRTHDAYS THROUGH THE YEARS

Your birthday is the most special day for you because it’s just your day which you ordinarily don’t share it with any member of your family or friends. The wishes are only for you and the love showered is specifically and specially for you and you alone! Its just simply your day in the whole of 365 days.

Over the years, birthdays have taken different meanings, different ways of celebration and different outlook to how the day should be.

In school, it was always a palpable happiness that began even as I opened my eyes. I would expectantly step into the hall or kitchen wanting someone to see me and break into a wish. Aai or Baba, whoever sees me first would shout across the room singing happy birthday and blessing me. Gifts of Camlin compasses, crayons, books, a new school bag or a pair of gold rings followed by a special drop to school by Mom when on other days it would be the tonga or the rickshaw. An extra hand bag for chocolates for the classmates and for teachers declared my special day at school. My best friend would insist on sitting next to me in the class and a flock of friends and not-much of friends would hover around me for the whole day. The evening was the gloriest of all- the hall decorated with crepe paper twisted to make wave like patterns that ran from one end of the hall to other, balloons stuck on walls, some floating aimlessly, specially stitched dresses, similar ones for me and my little sister, a cake with the brightest of colored cream rose flowers, pink and green and yellow, sandwiches loaded with chutney and butter, hot batata vada, wafers all served in paper plates and the candles that slowly out-grew the size of the cake.

In college, it was about the excitement of being wished in the corridors by friends shouting across as one surreptitiously wanted that person to hear it, and then if he would, he would awkwardly come and wish you from far without a hand shake, giving you goose bumps that made your day even more special. It was about independence, youthful energy, friends, heart aches and heart breaks, pen sets and hair clips as gifts,  dosa and coffee with the girl friends in the evening and returning home to a brightly colored cake, special dinner served in a silver plate , arati to ward off the evil and loads of blessings. No birthday ended without the mandatory new dress. The years were piling up, so was my independence. Yet the expectation of a gift and celebration continued.

Birthdays as a wife first and then as a mom started getting a little low key. The surprise and the gift here was the beautiful card which the kids made secretly in the night and gave it to me with a hug and kiss first thing in the morning. No other day ever felt so loved. But  then, rest of the day was about the kids, preparing for their day rather than mine, running around for household chores, pick and drop for classes and tuitions, work in between and to accept wishes on the land-line phone. The mandatory dress was there, but brought by me, the cake ordered by me, the dinner cooked by me. The childish expectations were long gone, yet I felt special and expectant of the love I got on this day.

Over the years, I have celebrated with family, friends, loved ones even as the number of people have steadily gone down. Parents and elders that blessed me have left one by one. Children grew up and flew away, siblings and cousins built their own worlds, distances set in. As forties turned to fifties and more, the expectations, the gifts, the parties, the shopping have all become a faint memory. The need to feel special has got eroded with time and birthday has become just that- day of birth.

It doesn’t feel that special anymore. It is now a reminder of the life I have left behind. It a reminder of the twists and turns I have taken on this roller-coaster journey. The joys, the pains, the sorrows, the mistakes, the achievements, the failures, all come back visiting this day and then its more about reminiscing rather than celebrating. Its more about being grateful for this day and this year rather than the materialistic pleasures that were once a hall-mark of a birthday.

The excitement of adding another year and feeling grown-up is now replaced by the hard fact that I am now a year closer to the finishing line wherever it is! It is now a humbling reminder of the time I have and the blessings I have collected in the form of my loved ones, friends and well-wishers.

Its now this gift that I treasure!