BLUE MONDAY

BLUE MONDAY

Each year the third Monday of January is dubbed as Blue Monday. The theory about blue Monday is that by this time of the month, we are enough guilt ridden having miserably broken all the resolutions that we had made on the first day of the new year. In western countries, from where this concept comes, this is the time when people become wary of the unrelenting cold and snow, salary has been used up and to top it all, the resolutions lie broken in million pieces. Thus, this Monday that starts the week brings in melancholy, sadness and depression.

                

                               I was a little amused at this concept. We have been following the concept of New Year resolutions for decades and breaking them without impunity for decades. I had never experienced this depressing thought ever in spite of having a track record of not a single completed resolution for that year!

                             I was left wondering if this is a concept unique to the western world where environment gets unfriendly during the turn of the year. Is it the cold and the whiteness of snow stretching beyond horizon that creates a sadness in the mind, highlighting the fact that the least one could have done for oneself, was to follow a certain promise, yet couldn’t do it. 

                        Just like the world that is divided into two halves, we over here have a completely different take on resolutions.

                       Honestly, each year, for the last plenty of decades, I have solemnly promised myself that whatever resolution I make at the end of the year that was, will be followed till the year end without a break, will be adhered to come what may and will help me emerge a different person than last year. I will be thinner if the resolution is weight loss (tops the list of resolutions) or more successful if the resolution is about being a workaholic, or more moneyed if the resolution is about discovering alternate profession that will click and keep the cash registers ringing. Sometimes the resolution has been to learn to let go and not keep the hurt hidden deep inside the recess of the overburdened heart.  Sometimes it has been to forgive, forget and patch up.

On some year-end parties, the resolution has been about driving on crowded roads without allowing the rage to get the best of me. This is one resolution I guarantee must have been after an extra-large mojito! On one occasion, the resolution was that I will be good to everyone, however rude/bitchy/irritating/ rough/ uncouth the person may be to me. This surely was after two large mojitos!

                          The year-ends most of the times bring a sense of moving over and moving on.

                          In reality it is just moving a day ahead. A Thursday moves on to a Friday and 31^st changes to 1^st like every other month. Geographically speaking, it is what we have learnt in school.  However, this is out of the purview of this write-up (for obvious reasons) and reader’s memory.

                          For the mind though, it’s a change from all the memories, good and more importantly the ones that wounded the self, that have now gone by. It’s a change that one looks forward to with hope and faith. It’s a starting point for all that can take away the bad and hurtful and bring in joy and sunshine. It’s a way forward. It’s an opportunity to correct the wrongs of the past year and find solace in the new year starting ahead. Its about discovering sunshine all over again.

                        The change-over to the new year is full of new hope which is why resolutions become important. They promise to reset our clock of wrongs and make us aware of what rights need to be done. A calm sets in with the resolution because your mind has become receptive to what can make it happier having gone through the trial and tribulations of the last one.

                        Thus, resolutions are made, deals are sealed with the self and promises of a good year bring in the necessary cheer. The new year party is a huge success and under the warmth of delicious alcohol that now occupies the space meant for RBC’s and WBC’s, life shines with a new light. A new path is carved and you start walking tall and proud into the new year.

                      Its only when blood comes back into the flow and Mondays come with usual stress of the roads and the boss, that slowly the happy self, starts closing its wings and prepares to disappear behind the normal. Routine makes sure that the wings are locked and the key lost for the next twelve months. You emerge from behind that façade of newness and get back on track. 

                          The best part is that having weathered so many old and new years, breaking the resolution is just as routine as a weighing machine not budging from its previous number or a bad honking spree for a two-wheeler who refuses to drive fast just because you want to go ahead or a close one breaking your heart for no fault of yours!

                       We have this strength in our DNA to walk ahead come what may and not feel a thing when the sound of broken resolution bangs against our ears.

                       So honestly, there is no such a thing as Blue Monday for us.

                        Now that we are well into the year, plough on and enjoy the sound of the resolution that just broke!

BTW, that’s me on a blue Monday!

AN ODE TO LOVE- THROUGH AGES

AN ODE TO LOVE – THROUGH AGES

The concept of love is not unique to human beings. Animals, birds, even tiny insects and delicately beautiful butterflies with an ultra-short span of life express love for each other in some form or other. Every living being has been endowed with this beautiful emotion that arouses a sense of goodness of the heart in each one. Humans are unique in the sense that they have been able to express this emotion in varied ways. They can express in words through poetry and prose, in physical ways, through materialistic things and through actions that bespoke of love. But humans are also unique in their expression of unrequited love or love gone sour. Although some animals do have the inborn expression of jealousy, possessiveness or anger for a spurned love, nowhere in the animal kingdom, except in the feline world, are there incidents of gruesome acts of violence in the name of love. 

 We have, in the past few years, heard/read of horrid acts of acid attacks and life-taking injuries on hapless young girls unfortunate enough to face the wrath of perverted minds when love has gone sour. We have read about stalking, hurting physically, dousing with petrol and burning and killing of love interests of twisted and criminal minded boys and men whose lust, under the guise of love, has been rejected by girls strong enough to have their own opinion on what and whom they love. Humans are certainly unique in that they have mastered all the wrong ways of expressing that emotion which is the very essence of all the niceness of a human heart. It’s time to re-instate the faith in that unique emotion which is by far the most superior and the most beautiful gift for mankind! 

Love as its official definition stands, is the expression of a deep sense of attachment one feels towards someone. It’s a feeling that makes the good hormone, serotonin, flow through the veins giving that person an immense sense of happiness and that all’s well with the world. It’s as if someone has suddenly come out into the bright sun or that the lights have been put on all of a sudden in a long-darkened room. The world appears to be full of people who are happy, smile at you and make you feel loved and warm. Wherever you look, there is pure joy and sunshine. All of a sudden, you find yourself in an elevated, rather elated place where nothing can touch you or spoil your reverie. It’s the most beautiful feeling one can experience and keep it locked forever in the heart. It’s that feeling that makes the heart light, almost weightless and the body gets wings that fly towards the loved one on feathered dreams.

The path on which one walks towards the loved one is silken smooth. None of the pot-holes rattle the boat nor do the steep slopes take the breath away. The ride is on thin air and each breath brings the pleasure of having found a treasure beyond feelings and words. Finding love is a miracle and the feeling thereafter prepares one for the roller-coaster ride called life.

Expression of love has changed over ages. From the eighties where I began my journey as a teenager to what I see today, the concept of love has changed just as the century has. But the feeling remains just as alive and kicking as it was for people of my generation and thereafter.

The situations were different. Growing up in a conservative society, I could see girls and boys of my age finding love through stolen glances, surreptitious brushing of bodies, eyes locked for a moment that felt like forever, small paper chits in books exchanged in narrow alleyways around the college away from prying eyes of friends and classmates, courage found as one walked to the dilapidated canteen for a cutting tea, some more courage as one bunked a lecture and met under the rambling old bridge behind the sprawling college campus where no one who recognized you, could ever come. Love flourished through difficult times most of the times ending in ‘happily ever after’ only after parental acceptance, tears, threats, emotional blackmails and theatrical showdowns.

The decades changed and so did the expression of undying love. From ‘tere bina jiya jayena’ sung in lonliness, to ‘aati kya khandala’  love became more bold, more direct and less fearful of the society. Groups of girls and boys hung out together in college campuses, holding hands and cozying up to each other in full view of the public not causing even a ripple in the society. Parents asked gingerly about the seriousness of relationships when visits to each other’s homes became routine and lengthy. Roadside love talks on parked scooters, endless cups of tea in favorite hotels, candle light dinners, roses, gifts all came to roost and flower the bloom of love.

The next couple of decades changed the face of the world, but the feeling of love remained. E-mails, messages, heart emojis, naughty jokes and pictures and abbreviated forms of expression took away all the secrecy of the affair. Hugging and light kisses became a normally accepted PDA. Love was out in the open, love was not equated to commitment, love was not restricted to parental acceptance, love was not permanent yet the feeling was just as beautiful. The hormone just as strong and the desire just as deep as ever.

Love in today’s age does not ask or give. Love does not take promises or give scars for life. Love does not remain platonic or spiritual and physical intimacy is just as pure and beautiful till it lasts. Love does not recognize gender anymore. The strictures of older decades have long past dissolved. The young generation of lovers have completely changed the expression of love as known to us. Yet, they love deeply and feel the same euphoric state that comes when love flows through veins and a throbbing heart as we felt decades ago.

Irrespective of where it originated, Valentine’s day is a reminder of the beautiful love in this world. It’s an affirmation of goodness of the heart. There was no Valentine’s day back then. But love found its own ways of getting expressed.

Years come and go, decades change, centuries pass by.

Love remains. Immortal. Beautiful. Unchanged.

Reina K